Friday, September 2, 2001

Baby Baby Baby

God, all my time is spent taking care of these little guys. Why should I be surprised? Strange, isn't it, that being a mother is such an awesome responsibility and yet the job seems to be made up of endless mundane, boring and unappreciated chores. And let's get real, who among us really gets into all that grunt labor?

--Insert break here for diaper changes: one wet, one extremely pooey (hmm, recycled prunes- altogether now: "eeeewwwww"), two bottles, picking up toys, looking with despair at the huge pile of laundry, holding and cuddling babies (the best part).--

When I think about it it's pretty scary to think what impact a mom has on her kids. There are a lot of us out there who are seriously screwed up because our moms weren't very good at mothering, or we didn't even have moms. If you see a little kid with dirty clothes, dirty face, snot running down his chin, you don't think "I bet that kid's mother is exhausted", you think, "jeez, what kind of lousy mother does that poor kid have?" (I was going to say, "or father", but that really doesn't occur to most of us; it's all on the mother.) Does that kid's mom love him? Probably, but she obviously isn't keeping up with all the mundane stuff that lets us know she cares about his welfare. Does that make her a lousy mother?

What equals love to a baby? Everybody keeps telling me that the babies won't remember a thing for these first months, but they'll know they're loved. Well what the hell does that mean? They must be retaining _something_ to feel cared for. There's the obvious stuff like holding, kissing, a smiling face, but there are all the other pieces too: a clean dry diaper, safe cozy place to sleep, getting fed when you're hungry. All the more mundane things that moms (and some dads) do endlessly all day long and long into the night. None of which is valued by anybody except maybe the baby, but that's the important thing, right? I guess I want to know why it doesn't get any respect when you do it right, but it gets condemnation and scorn when it doesn't get done.

I admit it; before I became a mom I didn't realize how hard stay-at-home moms worked. I assumed (based on _what_, I'm still wondering) that they had it easier than "working" women or at least "working" moms. And I always considered myself a liberal fair minded person! My mom worked at a regular job most of the years we kids were home, and she still managed to keep us clothed and fed and we never doubted that she loved us. Pretty impressive, now that I look back on it. I certainly took her for granted, I didn't give her the respect and admiration she deserved for all that hard work and all that she gave up in order to do the best job she could with her kids.

Well, Mom, mea culpa. Thanks for all those endless labors of love.

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Previous journal entries:

8/9/2001: Moving
6/25/2001: Sleeping through the night
6/21/2001: Why Website?